Archive for the Advertisements Category

Too Legit (To Update This Blog)

Posted in Advertisements, I do stuff!, Muzak, Pop with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 19, 2011 by effingjro

(The best thing to happen this week.)

I’ve been MIA of late, since I’ve started doing a bit of blogging and writing for Out magazine. That’s awesome news for me, but it means I have a lot less time to muse on my own personal favorite things. I’m going to set aside more time for that, but until then, here’s some stuff I put together over the past few weeks (much of which would have ended up on here instead, except with more curse words):

A review of Colson Whitehead’s awesome zombie apocalypse novel, Zone One.

A preview of the prelude to Lady Gaga’s newest music video (very One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest).

A slideshow of the images from Benetton’s new, controversial ad campaign, with lots of world leaders getting kissy kissy.

Shame on you if didn’t see the latest episode of Glee. But if you didn’t, you can read about it here.

A little info on a particularly badass queer graffiti artist.

A slideshow of all the best abs in Immortals (don’t pretend you paid $12 to see anything else except muscles).

An interview with indie punk band Hostage Calm, who got more than 3,000 signatures on their petition to end the gay marriage ban in NY state.

Lots and lots and lots of gay weddings.

Alright, see you soon. Oh, and go to 500 times a day please – gotta keep those numbers UP!

This Old House

Posted in Abandoned Buildings, Advertisements, Films, Hotties, TEEVee with tags , , , , , , , on October 5, 2011 by effingjro

American Horror Story premieres tonight at 10pm on FX, and let’s all pray to the gods of the F train that I make it home in time…

You may have noticed I have a thing for horror (see: The Woman In Black, The Prowler, a billion other things on this blog) and this show will try to make a case for serialized horror, versus something feature length. There aren’t many predecessors in this genre – the only one that comes to mind is Dark Shadows, a Gothic soap opera that aired on NBC in the late 60s/early 70s (that series is now being recast as a film, directed by Tim Burton, starring (surprise) Johnny Depp).

AHS follows an unfaithful psychiatrist and his wife and daughter as they move cross-country, mostly to try to repair the family after Daddy (Dylan McDermott) is caught cheating. The daughter is a especially awesome, as she sort of resembles Lydia from Beetle Juice. She smokes at school, and spits in the face of the girl who tries to stop her, and when the realtor mentions there was a murder suicide in their prospective home, she immediately replies “We’ll take it.” She’s like the ginger from Suburgatory with more Gothic bite. Here’s the 30-second spot they’ve been airing on TV.

The family ends up in a beautiful, sprawling house (yes, psychiatry pays well) with a bloody past. FX recently released the first five minutes of tonight’s episode. It doesn’t tell you much about the current family, but you get a sense of the creepiness that will be going on here. Hank Steuver of the Washington Post had this to say: “American Horror Story is one scream after another. So much creepy stuff happens in the first episode that viewers will be left asking: Can I possibly watch an entire series of this? Followed, of course, by a more obvious question: Why do they stay in that house?”

People in the horror genre are dumb! That’s why they stay put. Otherwise we’d have nothing to watch.

OK, enjoy the first five minutes.

To be honest, the scariest part for me was watching those boys vandalize irreplaceable light fixtures and stained glass. They had it coming.

Just to make sure you’re not missing the gay quotient here: The show is created and produced by the makers of Glee, and Zachary Quinto (is he or isn’t he?) has a recurring role as one half of the gay couple who formerly occupied the house – you know, the ones involved in the murder-suicide…

The answer: he is.


Posted in Advertisements, Soul-Crushing Materialism, TEEVee with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2011 by effingjro

Looking for someone relatable to endorse your product? How about a blogger?

Everyone’s a blogger, so it seems like a valid way to connect with a big audience. I guess I feel a little jaded when advertisers finally catch on to the trends of 2008 and harness it for their own nefarious ends, but I can’t hate on blogger commercials TOO much. I mean, bloggers are pretty nice people, right? Unless they’re Les Carles or running the Westboro Baptist Church homepage.

Ashley runs Not Without Salt, a beautifully photographed culinary blog. Not long ago she was offered free samples of Finish dish detergent to try out. The samples worked really well! So she agreed to a commercial.

And she even wrote a very forthright blog post about the whole filming experience. It was sort of touching (her brother worked the second camera on the shoot).

Next up is Lindsey Calla, who writes Saucy Glossie, a fashion blog that’s been featured all over the place: Marie Claire, Elle, Seventeen, etc. She’s been working the ho stroll a bit harder than Ashley. Some sort of serious deal has been inked, as she hosts “Twitter parties” about TJ Maxx, does a few webisodes about “taking your look from the office to the club,” and offers tips on fashion trends via smart phone.

I’m wondering if every other commercial is going to have a blogger soon, like the capitalist realization of Diablo Cody’s “Honest to blog.” If so, I’ll probably like it. I’m the last person to call anyone a sell-out. So if Marlboros, Levis or TopMan need someone to receive free samples… you know where to comment.

The Lost Artwork Of Hollywood

Posted in Advertisements, ART, Films, Stylez, Vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 23, 2011 by effingjro

A good friend handed me this excellent book yesterday, and now you get to benefit with some artwork.

This one’s from DuBarry Was a Lady (1943), based off a Cole Porter musical. It’s by Symeon Shimin. Check out the trailer below.

Next up in 1936’s Follow the Fleet, starring Fred and Ginger.

And a clip from that movie with one of my favorite songs – “Let Yourself Go.”

And my favorite of the three, Anton Grot’s poster for The Thief of Bagdad, has all the fantastic appeal of a Maxfield Parrish (or the cover of a Burroughs book).

And even better, a clip from the Douglas Fairbanks silent movie. Eat your heart out, Aladdin.


Your Retro Fix

Posted in Advertisements, Hotties, Photos, Rag Mags, Stylez, Vintage with tags , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2011 by effingjro

While I’m blathering on about magazine ads, here’s a fantastic one from Guess. Usually their ads are extreme and oversexed, and while this girl is certainly dressed to the nines, it’s sweet, not salacious.

Did people look like this in the ’40s? I mean, I know they weren’t constantly styled for photo shoots, and their waists weren’t the same circumference as telephone poles, but boy are those clothes great. It reminds me of the kind of photo The Sartorialist would shoot today (as opposed to the usual Guess fare – shirtless man in low-slung jeans humping on a woman in a studded bra with a beehive). Here are some genuine street style photos I found on The Fashion Spot.

That’s what the Guess ad is missing. HATS.


Tell me you’re not getting a Sex and the City vibe here. I think I spot a Samantha on the right…


Banana Republic: Too Mad For Mad Men

Posted in Advertisements, Found Item, In the News, Photos, Rag Mags, Rage Blackout, Soul-Crushing Materialism, Stylez, TEEVee, Vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2011 by effingjro

I was enjoying my normal Saturday routine: G&Ts on the lounge chair in the back yard with the latest men’s mags, when I came across this Banana Republic ad in GQ.

OK, fine, Mad Men. I dig that just as much as any of human being out there. I love the show, I LOVE the costumes – I even went so far as to download the characters’ individual playlists on iTunes – that’s how taken I am with a mid-century modern lifestyle (no, I didn’t not craft a personal Mad Men avatar, but I was tempted).

The thing is, Banana Republic has been going Mad  for three years now. They started out with a ‘casting call’ promo in 2009. Then they rolled out their capsule collection in 2010 (I remember this in particular because I urged a straight friend to glean his whole wardrobe here). And now, in 2011, they’re putting out a third collection, even though the next season of Mad Men likely won’t materialize until 2012.

This show caused a bit of a style revolution, and I’m totally in favor of gents getting more dapper. The looks – a few of which I’m posting below – are still great, if extremely grey.

No arguments here, even if they are eschewing some of the preppier, Pete Campbell flourishes for The Man In The Gray Flannel Suit-style tailoring and homogeneity.

I just think it’s a bit lame that BR hasn’t come up with anything more exciting for the past three years than Mad Men. If I think your novelty capsule collection is starting to look familiar, maybe it’s time to change it up.

And for those of you trying to cultivate a little MM panache – try a vintage shop. It’ll be a whole lot more fun.

The Shadow Man

Posted in Advertisements, Films, Trivia with tags , , , , , , , on August 18, 2011 by effingjro

Somedays it seems like you come across a previously unknown something (a word, a concept, a ghostly being) and the next thing you know this unknown something is  everywhere you look. I spent too much time last night on a blog called Pork Rhine. It’s a paranormal blog, run by a guy who generally debunks the kind of hoaxes believers go wild for.

I started reading about the shadow man. He usually shows up at night, standing by your bed or at the door, simply watching you. A lot of people who claim to see him also feel they’re unable to move for the duration of his appearance – this is probably just sleep paralysis, which is pretty common. It happens when you first wake up out of a deep sleep, and it feels as though something heavy is lying on your chest, a sensation best embodied in this fantastic Fuseli painting:

Note the gargoyle perched on the lady’s chest, stopping her from moving, while a white mare (you got it, a night-mare) peeks from behind.

Anyway, the shadow man seems to be everywhere, including the Dior ads in this month’s issue of Details. And in The Twilight Zone, surprise surprise. Click ahead to about 5:42 for the good stuff, though it never hurts to get a little backstory.

I don’t believe in this guy at all, but was intrigued Dior’s use of the same hallmarks in their ad. Sure, a flat-brimmed hat and a trench aren’t exactly rare in the fashion world, but there does seem to be a lot of shadow…

Luna Park

Posted in Advertisements, Found Item, Vintage with tags , , , , , on July 27, 2011 by effingjro

Would love to be in Coney Island right about now…

On the back of this 1915 postcard:

“Dragon’s Gorge, Luna Park,

Coney Island

Luna Park, is the largest private amusement enterprise in Coney Island, containing hundreds of electrical devices and at night is the most brilliantly lighted spot in the Island. Dragon Gorge is one of the largest and most gorgeous concessions in the park.”

Did you guys hear that? Hundreds of electrical devices!

When Playboy Was Hip

Posted in Advertisements, Found Item, Hotties, In the News, Man Appreciation Post, Photos, Rag Mags, Role Models, Vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 27, 2011 by effingjro

Yes, there was a time when Playboy was fodder for a wider audience than truckers who can’t access porn on the internet.

I picked up this magazine in June, because I can’t let a vintage rag go unpurchased, and was pleasantly surprised by how urbane Playboy used to be. Read the text at the bottom of this cover: Roald Dahl and Shel Silverstein were both contributors, something that would never happen today. This edition features a big panel discussion on religion in America, a nice satirical piece that stereotypes the readers of Esquire, Playboy, Reader’s Digest and other magazines, and a pretty comprehensive installment on nudity in film.

A little excerpt from Shel’s piece.

Since Playboy‘s visibility is mostly relegated to reality TV and tabloid stories these days (Did you HEAR what Crystal Harris said on the Howard Stern show? Hef only lasted two minutes??) it’s nice to look back at a time when the magazine was actually a bastion of sexual liberation. For all the claims that Hugh Hefner is a misogynist, he was a big proponent of loosening sexual mores – and birth control, too. Also, there was a time when Hef wasn’t so wrinkly.

And if you’re looking for something a bit raunchier, click here for a NFSW peek at June 1967’s Playmate of the Month. I bet SHE wouldn’t spurn Hef’s marriage proposal.

When Pabst Was Posh

Posted in Advertisements, Hotties, Man Appreciation Post, Photos, Rag Mags, Role Models, Trivia, Vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2011 by effingjro

Yeah, bet you never thought you’d see PBR on the tennis court. Well this ad hails from a more congenial time, when Pabst took their blue ribbon seriously. It’s a pretty posh ad, and I’m especially referring to that white tennis sweater (which I wish to God I owned, who can sell me one of those, I can’t find them anywhere). Now I was a little thrown by how they kept putting “Pancho” in quotes, because no one does that anymore, and it almost seemed racist(?)

But because we have the internet, I read Wikipedia. Turns out his name is Ricardo Gonzalez,  and he was a truly badass tennis player – he won the US Championships twice and Sports Illustrated said of him “”If earth was on the line in a tennis match, the man you want serving to save humankind would be Ricardo Alonso Gonzalez.”

[It should probably be "If earth WERE on the line" and "the man you WOULD want" and really, if earth were on the line, you'd be saving more than just humankind. Geez, SI, so anthropocentric (most syllables ever used on this blog, I'll bet)]

Also, “Pancho” was a looker.

Way better-looking than he appears in that PBR ad. In fact, in addition to that tennis sweater, I’m going to add his sneakers to my shopping list. “Pancho” Gonzales: fashion icon?

Anyway, now PBR is mostly for hipsters, but we can look back in envy at the days when it was a country club beverage enjoyed by handsome Mexican-American tennis pros.

What I Learned From LIFE Today:

Posted in Advertisements, Food, Found Item, Vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 6, 2011 by effingjro

How to appreciate dry milk.

“Oh, dry milk,” I used to say. “Nasty. What do you do, add water and then drink it? Why complicate things? How about you just pour yourself a nice glass of wet milk?” What a smart-ass. But then I realized…

“In kitchens everywhere, all kinds of baked goodies come almost poppin’ out of packages! No sifting, no fussing for the housewife… just a quick stir, a bake, and delicious waffles – pancakes – cookies – biscuits – muffins – cakes in infinite variety [INFINITE!] – doughnuts – pie crust… come ready to serve as if by magic!”

But really, without dry milk, there probably wouldn’t be cakes-in-a-box. And without those, I’d have nothing but frozen pizza to sustain myself with.

PS: In the scheme of old advertisements, that’s a relatively inoffensive depiction of Aunt Jemima. No pearl earrings though, that’s for sure.

Only A Car

Posted in Advertisements, I do stuff!, In the News with tags , , , , on December 5, 2010 by effingjro

So for various reasons (most of them boring), I’m a 23-year-old without a driver’s license. This wasn’t a big deal when I lived on a campus, or when I spent summers in Brooklyn and Philly. But now that I’m back in the sticks, it makes me a weirdo who’s tethered to a licensed driver at all times. Today I parallel parked three times without incident though, so things are looking up. Soon I can drive to all the farmers markets I want, just like that happy housewife up there.

Consider This…

Posted in Advertisements, Photos, Role Models, Stylez, Vintage with tags , , , , , on December 5, 2010 by effingjro

1. How did snaggletooth Susan Boyle manage to get in an old magazine from the ’70s?

2. Is this the only time we’ll see Cynthia Nixon’s wife in a pink frilly dress?

3. Why does that stove have so many goddamn buttons?

4. In what world are these acceptable models to use in a publication?


These things and more have kept me up all night.

Type Art

Posted in Advertisements, ART, Films, Vintage with tags , , , , on November 30, 2010 by effingjro

I recently bought ‘The Wonderful Writing Machine,’ Bruce Bliven’s 1954 history of the typewriter (written, as one Amazon commenter puts it “when the typewriter was king”). The author actually goes to a Royal typewriter factory and meets a “final adjuster” (a quality control guy, basically) who would spend three hours testing every aspect of the typewriter before he sent it out of the factory (this is after another inspector had already spent an hour typing to make sure every bar struck perfectly). Anyway, point is, they were serious about their typewriters.

Bliven also makes a brief foray into “typewriter artists” who make actual artistic compositions. The artists mentioned did a lot of portraits of celebrities (Teddy Roosevelt, Cary Grant) but it turns  out people are still making typewriter illustrations today. Like picz of Obama.

That one was done by Keira Rathbone, a stylish English girl who also does stylized portraits of Kate Moss.

And if you want to be really inspired, check out this news feature from the ’70s about a guy with a nervous disorder who legit paints with a typewriter (he uses an eraser too, but apparently that’s normal for typists).

To the Ladies of 1915

Posted in Advertisements, ART, Films, Found Item, Hotties, Photos, Rag Mags, Stylez, Vintage with tags , , , , , , , , on November 29, 2010 by effingjro

Whether you were protecting your dolls from geese…

Or talking up dudes at the music hall…

Or presciently interpreting Lady Gaga’s bubble dress…

(Sorry Olive, you may have sported this look in 1915, but people will still say you’re derivative of Lady Gaga. You might as well be Kesha.)

Or playing a dangerous vamp in the silent film  ‘Bella Donna’…

(This movie was lost, but based on the reviews I found online, The New York Dramatic Mirror thought “the sandstorm could have been made much more realistic” (hyper-realistic, guys, with a little CGI) and Photoplay called it “a tale of violet-scented villainy, of gold-plated murder,” which just sounds great.)

Basically, whatever you were doing in 1915, you were doing it well (except for Olive).


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