Archive for the Soul-Crushing Materialism Category

SS ’13 Menswear: Birds/Blooms

Posted in ART, Soul-Crushing Materialism, Stylez with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 9, 2013 by effingjro

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I know what you’re thinking: “Florals? For spring. Groundbreaking.” And you’ve got me there. But there’s a damn good reason this happens every year. We’re suffering from color anemia. You can’t live off navy peacoats and heathered gray everything indefinitely. Even if it’s still snowing out, any of the items above will put you in a warm-weather mentality at half the cost of a trip to the Caribbean. Here are three quick favorites…

1. Profound Aesthetic 5-Panel Cap

Do not be distracted by the model (or do, briefly). Profound Aesthetic has a lot of great stuff in their newest lookbook, but this cap is doubly covetable for the 5-panel construction and suede flat brim.


2. AMI Bird Print Cotton Twill Shorts

Alexandre Mattiussi’s menswear line is French nonchalance made manifest. Proof that you can wear a bird print without looking like a peacock.

3. SUPREME x Vans Rose Print Sneaks

High Snobiety tipped me off to this collab, available in stores yesterday (you know what, they’re probably already sold out). Based off the album art for New Order’s 1983 Power, Corruption & Lies, they also look like any Baroque floral rendering, ever.

And speaking of Baroque: did you know Sofia Coppola (in her enduring wisdom) used New Order’s single ‘Age of Consent’ in Marie Antoinette? In wig choice alone, that woman owned the birds/blooms motif, so I think we’ve come full circle today, friends.

Thermal Thoughts

Posted in Photos, Soul-Crushing Materialism, Stylez with tags , , , , on November 19, 2011 by effingjro

High-fashion onesie

This morning I had to take two dogs for a walk when it was 37 degrees. I know that’s not exceptionally cold if you’re Canadian or a penguin, but I could barely get myself out of bed, much less find enough layers to ensure I wouldn’t freeze the second I made it outside. For whatever reason, I get cold way faster than the population at large, and until I can afford winter trips to Cabo, it’s all about thermal shirts and long johns for me. I’ve been scouring stores, and the only real options are the AA thermals, the Uniqlo HeatTech line (oooh, science), or this stunning one-piece Fair Isle contraption from Japan…

(How do you go to the bathroom in this?)

One of the nice things about quitting smoking (I’m on my third week) is that I’m setting aside all the money I would  have spent on cigs, and instead buying something as a reward. So my plan is to buy a pair of long johns for every day of the week, and laugh in the face of the bitter elements.

April joined me for a photoshoot

Say hello to my weekend uniform.


Posted in Advertisements, Soul-Crushing Materialism, TEEVee with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2011 by effingjro

Looking for someone relatable to endorse your product? How about a blogger?

Everyone’s a blogger, so it seems like a valid way to connect with a big audience. I guess I feel a little jaded when advertisers finally catch on to the trends of 2008 and harness it for their own nefarious ends, but I can’t hate on blogger commercials TOO much. I mean, bloggers are pretty nice people, right? Unless they’re Les Carles or running the Westboro Baptist Church homepage.

Ashley runs Not Without Salt, a beautifully photographed culinary blog. Not long ago she was offered free samples of Finish dish detergent to try out. The samples worked really well! So she agreed to a commercial.

And she even wrote a very forthright blog post about the whole filming experience. It was sort of touching (her brother worked the second camera on the shoot).

Next up is Lindsey Calla, who writes Saucy Glossie, a fashion blog that’s been featured all over the place: Marie Claire, Elle, Seventeen, etc. She’s been working the ho stroll a bit harder than Ashley. Some sort of serious deal has been inked, as she hosts “Twitter parties” about TJ Maxx, does a few webisodes about “taking your look from the office to the club,” and offers tips on fashion trends via smart phone.

I’m wondering if every other commercial is going to have a blogger soon, like the capitalist realization of Diablo Cody’s “Honest to blog.” If so, I’ll probably like it. I’m the last person to call anyone a sell-out. So if Marlboros, Levis or TopMan need someone to receive free samples… you know where to comment.


Posted in ART, Hotties, Photos, Soul-Crushing Materialism, Stylez with tags , , , , , , , on September 4, 2011 by effingjro

Well, this is  how I want to look all the time. I don’t know if I’m more into the idea of britches or calf-high boots, but almost every look in Balmain’s Fall 2011 collection features these things (well, technically not britches, but the rolled jean with a bit of sock showing looks just as good). There are a whole lot of these vaguely military jackets with shiny buttons, as well as big ratty scarves and layered shirts and sweaters, which gives the collection a very sexy magpie feel. In fact, sexy magpie might be the look I go for this fall.

To be fair, my coworker was pretty on point when he said “All you have to do is accessorize with a chain that carries the One Ring.” Some of the looks are a bit Middle Earth, but I think it’s because the model looks like he just left the Shire.

Scarves as scarves, scarves as belts!

Leather jacket, fur collar. Rough and tumble luxe.

The designer responsible for Balmain’s comeback, Christophe Decarnin, recently left the company. He was, after all, making $6,000 jeans. I just hope whoever takes his places maintains this level of cool. Actually, maybe you can decide for yourself when you take a look at Balmain’s 2011 Spring collection. Not sure if that’s Decarnin or not, but you can find it here on

Seriously, where can I get those boots?

Today’s Haul

Posted in Found Item, Soul-Crushing Materialism, Stylez, Vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2011 by effingjro

Some days, I could swear I was born to go thrift shopping.

Or, to be precise, thift/vintage/antique shopping. Today, after hitting three shops, I picked up a 1867 edition of Harper’s Monthly (yeah, I’ll scan it later), six marlin-shaped swizzle sticks from 1965 (no more mixing G&Ts with a spoon) and a silk coral-and-cream clover print scarf. Grand total: $15.

Though it looks like I’ll be heading back tomorrow to pick up a double-breasted peak lapel tuxedo jacket. Circa 1950? When something that old fits perfectly, it’s just wrong to pass it up.

Banana Republic: Too Mad For Mad Men

Posted in Advertisements, Found Item, In the News, Photos, Rag Mags, Rage Blackout, Soul-Crushing Materialism, Stylez, TEEVee, Vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on August 20, 2011 by effingjro

I was enjoying my normal Saturday routine: G&Ts on the lounge chair in the back yard with the latest men’s mags, when I came across this Banana Republic ad in GQ.

OK, fine, Mad Men. I dig that just as much as any of human being out there. I love the show, I LOVE the costumes – I even went so far as to download the characters’ individual playlists on iTunes – that’s how taken I am with a mid-century modern lifestyle (no, I didn’t not craft a personal Mad Men avatar, but I was tempted).

The thing is, Banana Republic has been going Mad  for three years now. They started out with a ‘casting call’ promo in 2009. Then they rolled out their capsule collection in 2010 (I remember this in particular because I urged a straight friend to glean his whole wardrobe here). And now, in 2011, they’re putting out a third collection, even though the next season of Mad Men likely won’t materialize until 2012.

This show caused a bit of a style revolution, and I’m totally in favor of gents getting more dapper. The looks – a few of which I’m posting below – are still great, if extremely grey.

No arguments here, even if they are eschewing some of the preppier, Pete Campbell flourishes for The Man In The Gray Flannel Suit-style tailoring and homogeneity.

I just think it’s a bit lame that BR hasn’t come up with anything more exciting for the past three years than Mad Men. If I think your novelty capsule collection is starting to look familiar, maybe it’s time to change it up.

And for those of you trying to cultivate a little MM panache – try a vintage shop. It’ll be a whole lot more fun.


Posted in Authors, Hotties, I do stuff!, Photos, Role Models, Soul-Crushing Materialism, Stylez, Uncategorized, Vintage with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 7, 2011 by effingjro

You know, the last time I bought glasses I was 16. It’s definitely time for an upgrade. I just ordered a box of sample frames from Warby Parker, which is my recently discovered and now favorite purveyor of eyewear. For one thing, they make relatively cheap, not-too-obnoxious retro frames ($95 with the prescription), and for another, for every pair of glasses you buy, they donate a pair to someone in the world who needs them.

Which, if you think about it, is way better than one of those ‘Buy one pair, get one free’ deals at Lenscrafters. I mean, how many pairs of glasses do you need?

And without further ado, here are the five frames (they have evocative preppy names that I will riff on to distract from my face)…

The Felton: These guys are really square, like an architect’s glasses. Kind of like that cute engineer from Love Actually that “Just Judy” never gets to sleep with. Not the worst association to go with.

The Pierce: Like the Felton, but a smoky gray version, with those fun metal rivets on the side. President Pierce never wore glasses like this, but he looked damn fine on a horse.

Now on to our third selection…

The Preston: These are pretty much Clark Kent glasses, which is awesome, because there’s nothing I like more than pretending to work for a newspaper while on the sly I’m performing heroic, muscle-flexing feats of bravery.

The Roosevelt: A front-runner, along with the aforementioned Preston. I like the color and the shine on the frames, and they’re mostly square, which is good for round-faces (me). If you were to ask me, I’d say the my favorite Roosevelt wasn’t Teddy OR FDR – it was Eleanor.

The Webb: I think these glasses are way too small. I feel like Truman Capote and while that’s fine when I’m writing, I’m not taking my fashion cues from that guy. Also, aren’t glasses supposed to stop you from squinting? What is up with my eyes?

And yes this is the most vain post ever, but if I keep these glasses as long as I’ve kept my last pair, I might as well get a few opinions. Plus, hey! Polls!


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